One Year Closer


Me supporting Drew’s addiction

Message from Drew on September 17, 2006:

Hey baby,
I just wanted to let you know that I had a wonderful time with you this weekend. I wish we had more time, but what time we did have was quality. It does not bother me that there was not much to do because what I was doing was enjoying being with you. Thank you for also putting up with my football addiction. I can’t tell you how much I look forward to seeing your beautiful face again. I love you.

You are welcome, Drew.  I forgive your addiction, love you too, and dream about the day when I get to see your beautiful face again!

June 25th marks a year. The week prior to the anniversary of our accident, I went back and forth between feeling proud, heartbroken, hopeful, and depressed.  This is not the kind of anniversary that most would celebrate over a nice dinner; nor is it an occasion to buy a gift or send flowers, or even make a cake. I didn’t really know what to expect. Now that it’s here, I actually feel peace. Today I am one entire year closer to Drew than I was this time last year.  That exciting!  Today, I did what most young widows do on the anniversary of their husband’s passing.  I marched down to Leitz music, picked out a piano keyboard and demanded that the foot pedal be included with the purchase of the keyboard (in a Christian Dave Ramsey fashion).

It was a part of our plan.  After Clay brought Drew to the “expertise” level with the guitar, I would begin my piano lessons.  Drew and I were constructing a band.  Ruby would start with the tambourine, and work her way up to more complex instruments.  The other children would follow suit. This was all in an effort to combat the genetic flaw of tone-deafness, dominant in the Husfelt genes.  I understand Drew is busy with Kingdom work, but I have a feeling that enough “down time” has somehow been allotted for Drew to master the guitar.  Assuming that our talents and abilities are maximized in heaven, I would venture that his guitar skills are probably equivalent to Brad Paisley by now. So, it’s about time are start learning piano!

Other June 25th happenings:

Ruby and I had a lunch date with our buds, April and Madison.  Per usual, the salads (chicken and pasta) were delicious, but they pale in comparison to the company and conversation.  There’s something so sweet about being in the presence of someone else who understands (and appreciates) the temporary nature of this life and of our earthly tents—someone who knows the ugly taste of sorrow, but still rejoices and laughs hardily because better things are coming.

Tuesday night was also the night of our first meeting with a small group of young widows/widowers.  That’s a ministry I never thought I would partake in.  The purpose of our group is to learn what the Bible says about Heaven, and what our loved ones are doing and experiencing in Heaven.  Clearly, God is not letting this Drew-size hole in my life go in vain.  He is using it to His glory.  And that is what I know Drew is most proud of today…although he probably thinks the keyboard (foot pedal included) is pretty cool. 

Over the past year God has stretched me in a way I never would have imagined.  And the truth is, had God given me the option, I would have said, Thanks, but no thank you.  I’ll just keep Drew here with me.  My human side would take Drew back in a heartbeat in exchange for all I’ve learned and experienced on this road.  Regardless, I am at peace with the assurance of a reunion with Drew.  That gives me plenty to hope for during the day and to dream about at night. 


There have been a few bolts of lightning so bright and loud here lately, that I could’ve sworn Jesus was descending on a cloud.  Fair warning: Get Right or Get Left!…(right with God or left behind).

Disposable Faith

I had a wonderful anniversary.  It was made special by the surprise birth of my sister’s twin girls, Aubrey Grey and Emma Collins, who were not scheduled to arrive until June 19.  Welcome beautiful girls, and congratulations Steph and Brent!


The fact that AG and EC graced us with their presence on the day of mine and Drew’s wedding anniversary has great significance for a reason that I’ll explain in another post.  For now, I will just say that it was a special gift from God that had a lot to do with Drew and prayer.

I’ve hit a gloomy spell here in the last few days.  The heartache of simply missing Drew comes in unpredictable waves.  One thing that I have found always makes me feel better is to flip through pictures of Drew.  His sweet smile leaps from the photo paper (or computer screen), and by looking at him, it seems more obvious that he is alive, real and happy.  He just doesn’t seem so far away when I can focus on his dimples.

Going to digress:  God works in mysterious ways.  Luck would have it that I am currently enrolled in an online Technology for Teachers course, via FSU.  Snore, I know?  Who would guess that I would have so much fun with these web tools that I’m supposed to be implementing into the classroom?!  (For those of you who don’t know, I’m taking a sabbatical from teaching to stay at home.)  The first tool I learned about was Animoto.  Some of you are probably familiar with Animoto, but for those of you who are not, I would describe it as an automatic video creator.  Click “create”, select a song, add your pictures and Voila! you have a home video!  And it’s free…unless you want to make a video lasting longer than 30 seconds.  I have a lot of pictures.  It was a good investment.  Here’s one of my final products.  Happy Anniversary!

The video will relate. A fellow hopeful-griever was having a difficult day as well, and we were talking about how we hoped Jesus would come back ASAP.  The word hope triggered something I had forgotten that I knew: But the greatest is love.  “Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love.”

Do you know why love is the greatest?

It remains.  Love transcends this life.  We will never have reason or cause to stop loving or being loved. 

Faith and hope are tools that the Christian should use on his earthly journey.  They guide us and strengthen us; and sometimes even give us a reason to breathe when all seems lost.  But a day is coming when we can leave them at the door!  We won’t have a need for faith or hope.  Faith, the promise of things unseen, will no longer be a prerequisite to belief, for we will see with our own eyes!  And with all of God’s promises fulfilled, how could we hope for anything?  For what would we hope?  Therefore, faith and hope will cease to exist, but our God (who is Love) offers us an entire eternity of love.

I’m thankful to Debbie Bradford for sharing that nugget of truth in my 7th grade Sunday School Class.

*and thanks to SWAK and Chris Barr Photography for the amazing wedding photos!