Because She Loves Him


To Carter’s First Mom:

I realize you have had a difficult life, at least lately. I have always occupied this comfortable, predictable, and safe bubble. You and I would never have met, if it weren’t for God tying us together.

I realize you have made poor choices. Not one person hasn’t. So far, your poor choices have been more severe and had greater consequences than my poor choices. I’m not trying to make excuses. I just want you to know, although I am extremely naïve in the ways of the world, I am aware of these things. I may never know the details of who you are and what you have experienced, but I know that we have been dealt different cards and we have lead different lives. I know, and I’m sorry that life has been extra tough for you. I know, and I’m not judging you; I pray for you. I know, and I love you.

In the past, I would have questioned and gossiped. I would have blamed, and I would have judged. I’m not proud of that. Because of you, my heart has softened. You are special. I will always defend you when people ask, “How could anyone give up a precious baby?” Because she loves him. I will talk highly of you, because I think highly of you. You could make foolish decisions for the rest of your life, and I would love and respect you just the same. Because of one decision you did make. You chose life for this baby. You chose months of an inconvenient pregnancy while working to support yourself and your toddler. You chose to put your life on hold while you made a plan—while you sought out an agency, sifted through profile books, and selected a family. You didn’t listen to the people telling you about the easier options. I don’t know exactly what caused you to make this choice, but I am so thankful you did.

When I hear what a wonderful person I am, because I’ve adopted Carter and am providing him with opportunities that he would not have had otherwise, I know it is all because of you. Carter will know that what he has and experiences in this life, is because you gave it to him. You gave him the world when you let him go.

I would love to be able to hug you every day and tell you how special you are. You are more than loved–you are adored. God created you, Jesus died for you, and I pray that you know this. I pray that you feel loved by the Father–a love that has nothing to do with anything you have or have not done. Carter is blessed to have a mother who loved him to the point that she gave him up. I pray that you know how blessed we are to have a God who loves us so much that He gave up His Son, so that we may experience true, vibrant, and abundant life—here and for eternity.