Victorious Strut

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This post is dedicated to JoAnna Lewis, who wore red shoes on her wedding day. JoAnna went home victoriously last December.

Suddenly at the very moment when I mourned [my wife] least, I remembered her best. Indeed it was something better than memory; an instantaneous, unanswerable impression…a sort of unobtrusive but massive sense that she is, just as much as ever, a fact to be taken into account.
–CS Lewis on grieving his departed wife

His wife is. Just as much as ever, she exists. CS Lewis didn’t feel this right after his wife passed away, but when he realized this truth, it changed everything.

I don’t grieve or mourn for Drew now in the way I did initially. Every memory of him that comes to mind no longer brings heartache. I love talking about him. However, I feel that I would somehow limit, or even suffocate, God’s wonderful creation known as Drew if I restricted my thoughts and conversation to the great character that he had or the wonderful legacy he left behind. So I continue to speak of him in present tense and think often about what his life is like now.

Thank God that there came a point where I stopped mourning Drew. When I embraced God’s promises, it allowed Him to turn my pain into praise. I was able to give up sorrow for a spirit of hope and joy—it was at this point that I felt Drew lives! And finally, there came the red shoes. Though not biblical, they turned out to be the cherry on top of my Victory Sundae.

I purchased a pair of red shoes on Black Friday. Nothing fancy. They are most likely a faux suede material. They’re adorned with a burst of sparkly rhinestones at the toes. (Imaginary Convo: Nice kicks, Dorothy. Thanks Dewz. Now take us home.)

Strangely enough, multiple women have approached Anna, my younger sister, and told her what a testimony I bear when I wear these red shoes. Who knew?! Apparently some interpret such footwear is a symbol of strength, power, and determination. I found this humorous at first; now, I can’t put them on without considering, “Do I want to testify today?” I’m encouraged by the thought of whispers; Here she comes stomping on Satan with her red shoes. It makes me smile.

But then I think, well, I should be donning the red shoes, and the spirit of an overcomer, daily. And so should you, if you are in Christ. Regardless of your current circumstance, we have all been declared victorious, so we should walk with that victorious strut. The war has been waged and the blood overcame anything that could defeat us. Satan, the toothless lion, wants me to believe that Drew’s mission and purpose is complete. All that remains is his good legacy, but it’s not.

In 2 Corinthians Paul says, “It is our goal to please God, whether here or there”— meaning whether on earth or in heaven. So I know that is what Drew is doing in heaven—pleasing God through serving, working, worshipping, and any other way God deems fit. Why would God have Drew doing less in the land of more?

Drew lives more brilliantly than before. Because Drew lives, I can live. And not just live to grieve (although there will always be a taste of it), but ultimately, live to celebrate that this world is not our home—that there is life after this to anticipate! So, I wear my red shoes.

If only I could click, click, click my heels and be home already. One day!

8 thoughts on “Victorious Strut

  1. All I can think to say is … ‘I wish I wouldn’t look weird wearing red shoes like you!’ Love you girl:)

    Dad

  2. You Dear Sweet COURAGEOUS Girl! Such beautiful words and thoughts! Your are a true inspiration and example of HIS will for us on earth. Thank you so much for sharing your love for Drew and our Heavenly Father through these posts with me. You have the gift of touching peoples hearts just like your precious husband. It’s a very special thing to watch how God is using you two to bring people closer to HIM. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Thanks again!

  3. You are such an amazing inspiration. I love reading your outlooks and how positive they are. It makes me smile to read your blog 🙂

  4. Dang, girl. This makes me cry. Tears of hope AND tears of shame. Shame on me, at my age, for letting life’s little burdens keep me from strutting with victory steps every moment of every day. Good for you! Little Miss Ruby has some might big red shoes to fill and I’m sure she will amaze us all. (as do YOU)
    So glad to have been able to see you this past weekend and love on Drew’s baby.

  5. Allison, your words always leave me with “food for thought.” Your insight is amazing and I truly love reading anything you write. You definitely need to publish! One day you will click those red shoes and according to the song, “One glad morning when this life is over, I’ll fly away,” and Drew will be there waiting for you.

  6. Wonderful read – sweetie! You are a living testimony! As well we your precious Drew! Enjoyed the video! Your English major suits you well! Maybe a book – one day??? I want a signed copy!

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